In his book The Silent Pulse in a section on entrainment the late George Leonard writes about the Yanomami Indians and how, when two tribes come together their chiefs go out into the nearby jungle, stand nose to nose, and start shouting at each other, and continue to do so for quite a while until they suddenly quiet, and slowly move in mirror image of each other. They then return to their awaiting tribes-members and begin a celebration together.
In the past 20 years neuroscientists have discovered and begun studying something they call mirror neurons, which, as the name suggests, mirror the experience of another being. An example (and one of the early subjects leading to the discovery): if a monkey sees another monkey eating a peanut, he will have a physiological response as though he is eating it and these mirror neurons are connected to, if not responsible for, this phenomenon.
My friend Richard Miller, founder of the Integrative Restoration Institute, recently told me about his PhD dissertation on how psychotherapists regain empathy with their patients when they lose it (apparently a frequent occurrence) by connecting with empathy for themselves.
The point of these references: tuning into the experiences of other people is perhaps hardwired into our mind/body organism, part of our cultural conditioning and related to our experience of ourselves.
This week’s Working for Good Challenge is Tuning into Others. As social beings, as we have been for tens of thousands or perhaps millions of years, tuning into others is part of our nature and our culture. It is essential for survival and for well-being.
Building on the past two week’s challenges – Practicing Conscious Awareness + Applying Conscious Awareness to a specific focus – the way I suggest approaching Tuning in to Others for this Challenge is to simply observe our internal experience in relation to others; to recognize how we tune into others and how we respond when we feel another person’s experience. (More on this below).
Here is a brief summary of the Working for Good Challenge for those of you who did not read this last week:
The Purpose of this challenge is to deepen our practice of Working for Good by focusing our attention on essential ideas and actions.
The Process is simple.
- Focus Overview: At the beginning of the week, starting this week and continuing for four more weeks, I will send an email outlining the focus for the week.
- Practice: if you want to participate, you can practice the focus during the day – at work, at home, at play – whenever and however you do so.
- Dialog: If you have questions, comments or suggestions for me or for others, you can post them at the Working for Good Facebook page, where I will be making and responding to comments, and facilitating conversations.
- Reflect: At the end of the week I will send a brief email with some questions and reflections, and an invitation to you to reflect on the week’s practice and to join the upcoming week’s Focus/Practice.
Overview of the Six Focuses
Focus #1: Practice Conscious Awareness
Focus #2: Hydrate (applying Conscious Awareness)
Focus #3: Tune in to others
Focus #4: Inquire
Focus #5 Listen
Focus #6: Engage
Focus #3: Tune in to Others
As I observed above, tuning into others is something we are both designed (by nature) and programmed (by culture) to do. It is not necessarily something we have to make ourselves do.
If, however, we want to Tune into Others with Conscious Awareness – we can engage reflection in and to the process of tuning into others.
To activate or support this week’s focus on Tuning into Others, I think I will just add a few suggestions here, and no specific process or preparation. Do whatever you do to tune into your own conscious awareness, however and whenever you do.
A few suggestions or possible approaches. Try as many as you like, and make up your own.
- When in conversation with others, note how your body moves in relation to theirs. Observe the intonation of your voice and theirs. See if there are ways they move in and out of being similar and different.
- Observe yourself watching others – in person, on TV, however – and see if you find yourself sensing or even mirroring their actions, expression, emotions, etc.
- If you have any heated conversations, watch how they progress over time and how they resolve.
I would love to hear stories from you of your experiences with this, and intend to reflect on some of mine on the Working for Good Facebook page.